We are taught that if we lose weight, life will be good. After all, those women in the movies, on TV, and in the weight loss ads are all successful, popular, and having fun, right? What’s the difference between them and us? It must be that they weigh less!
Ah, if it were only that easy!
Unfortunately, we learn one of the key elements of feeling good about ourselves when we’re only two to four years old. At that age, the environments we live in primarily encourage either toxic or healthy shame. The more our experiences create toxic shame, the harder it will be for us to maintain a sense of positive self-esteem.
The good news is that those people (I wasn’t one) who experienced predominantly healthy shame at that age internalize an automatic boost that will help them deal with the usual ups and downs of life with a lot more resilience. You could say they have “the edge.”
For those of us who encountered mostly toxic shame at that age, well . . . It can be a lot harder for us to see ourselves as competent, desirable and deserving. Not that we can’t get there, but it takes a lot of hard work.
What makes the difference between experiencing healthy or toxic shame?
My second webinar on October 7thwill explore this issue.
I will explain the different interactions between caregivers and children that create healthy versus toxic shame. We’ll explore how these dynamics affect our self-esteem as adults. And, best of all, we’ll discuss some of the ways we can shift our habitual toxic shame to encouraging more healthy shame.
I’ll also touch on pride, the opposite of shame. People raised in an environment of healthy shame have a much easier time identifying sources of pride and spend more of their lives feeling good about themselves than bad.
Don’t we all want that for ourselves and the ones we love?
The webinar will run from noon to 1 p.m. Eastern Time.
Sign up using the registration form on the right if you’d like to attend.
If you’re registered, I’ll send you a link a few days before.
I hope to see you there!
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